Can you think of people who say one thing, but their body language says something else? Do they make you confused and frustrated? If you learn a little about body language, you will be able to unlock the secrets of their true feelings.
Congruent body language is essential to effective workplace communication. How about you? Is what you say, what you really mean? Does your body language create confusing messages?
This image from Dr. Joyce Knudsen’s facebook page tells it all in a nutshell. After you look at the image, read the descriptions of the 10 tips below it to learn how to make your communication congruent, clear and captivating.
How to use Dr. Joyce’s 10 Body Language tips to make the most of your communications.
1. Ways of Talking
When you talk, you can emphasize certain words, talk louder or softer to create impact, raise or lower your pitch, speed up or slow down. Try saying a sentence out loud in many different ways. While the words you say are the same, the meaning and impact can change by the way you use your voice.
2. Posture
How you stand or sit communicates a lot about how you think and feel. Good posture conveys confidence. Slouching conveys lack of confidence. To have posture that makes you look more confident, practice sitting and standing tall in front of a mirror.
3. Appearance
Your mirror is your best guide. Before you go anywhere, take a look at yourself in a full length mirror. How you look tells a lot about how your feel inside. Neatness and cleanliness do matter. They also show your respect for others.
4. Head Movements
When having a conversation, nodding, or titling your head at an angle, shows that you are listening and paying full attention to the person you are with. It also helps you concentrate on what they are saying.
5. Hand Movements
What you do with your hands can express both negative and positive communication. For example, arms crossed can mean that someone is angry. Someone can throw their arms up in frustration.
Gestures add emotion to your conversation. They make you look animated and alive. You don’t have to exaggerate them. Just make them look natural.
6. Eye Movements
Eye movements can be either positive or negative. For example, looking at the person who is talking is positive while rolling the eyes or glaring is negative. People will pay attention to what you are doing with your eyes.
The most important thing to do with your eyes is to make eye contact with the person you are talking to, so they feel listened to.
7. Facial Expression
There are so many things you can do with your face that communicate emotion. Frown shows you are confused. Raising the eyebrows means you are interested or excited, then, of course there is smiling, pouting, etc.
For practice, look into a mirror and make many different types of expressions. Making expressions makes you animated and interesting, but don’t go overboard. Keep them natural.
8. Body Contact
Your handshake communicates a lot about you. If it is firm but not too strong, you will come across as confident. If it is week, you will come across as timid. Practice different handshakes with a friend and share how you feel about them.
Pats on the back, hugs, and high fives are other ways to have body contact that make people think you care about them. Just be sure that the body contact is appropriate for the situation.
9. Closeness
Everybody has a certain comfort level with closeness. Some people like more space around them then others. When you get too close, they will back off. Be respectful of others comfort level with closeness.
10. Sounds
Laughing, chuckling, sighing, exclamations of excitement, are part of your communication. Be careful that your laughter isn’t at someone’s expense as that will communicate mocking.
So, as you can see there is a lot to think about when having a conversation. If it seems overwhelming to think of everything at once, take one thing to practice for a whole day, then go on to the next. After 10 days you will have had a chance to experience all 10. Then start over again.
Effective body language isn’t something you learn in a week or two. Just being aware of the different elements that make up body language will help you get started. Watch others, and pay attention to your own body language.
When you do, you will become a more successful communicator, both in the workplace and in your personal life.
What do you think?
Do you have a story, or comment about using body language to enhance your communication? Write your comments below.
