Are you afraid to ask for what you want because you are afraid of being turned down? This fear of rejection is very self- defeating because you miss out on getting a lot of things that you might get, if you only had the courage to ask. How do you overcome fear of asking for things? Just have employees follow these simple steps of the broken record technique to handle their fears of rejection.
1. Asking for what you want takes practice.
Make a list of requests – some very reasonable and some you don’t think you might get. Start your practice by asking for something that you don’t think you’ll get. This way you won’t feel so rejected when you are refused. Make your request politely, and state the reason that it is important for you. If there is a benefit for the other person, be sure to state that as well. “Would you please… because… This is good for you too, because…”
Realize that if you are refused the first time, it simply means, “not yet.” Many people have several “no’s” in them before they can come to a “yes.” They may be having a bad day so, don’t take it personally. Don’t get angry or pout either, after all you have only asked once.
2. After a week, politely ask again.
Don’t be surprised if the other person gets annoyed since he or she has already said, “No” once, so it helps if you have an additional reason or new information. If you don’t, simply repeat your request stating why it is very important to you and ask that it be reconsidered.
Realize that if you are refused the second time, it still simply means, “not yet.” The person you are asking may have other problems to think about, so don’t take it personally. Don’t get angry or pout, after all you have only asked twice. Take a lesson from little children. They are great at the broken record technique because they are persistent.
3. Wait another week and ask again.
The person you are asking will realize that a simple “No” is not going to make you stop asking. He or she will also realize that your request is important enough for you to ask three times and may begin to take you seriously.
Therefore, this time you may get a small concession or at least a valid reason for the refusal. This may lead to a compromise. If so, you have accomplished a lot. However, if after three times, you have not gotten anywhere at all, give it some rest. You can come back to it in a month or two.
4. Continue to practice your broken record technique by asking for something different.
You may ask the same person or you may want to practice on a different person.
With practice you will become less reluctant to ask for what you want, and you will become more comfortable when people refuse your request. The best part is that the law of averages will grant you some of your requests – the ones you never would have gotten if you had never asked.
Have your employees use this technique to build their assertiveness and learn to communicate their needs to their coworkers and supervisors. It can also be useful in dealing with customers.
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